Choosing the Right Moment
1. Plan ahead. It will be easier for you if you know when you are going to ask the question. You can practice the conversation ahead of time, or you can identify the right moment to bring the issue up. There is no one right time to ask a guy to be your boyfriend. Judge your personal circumstances carefully.
Some people plan a special date and hold this conversation at the end of a date. Others find that this conversation comes most naturally when they are hanging out together alone. Either way, choose a good day ahead of time.
Do not ask at a time when the guy will be stressed, upset, or busy. He may be taken aback by the question, and this could affect his answer.
If you are feeling nervous, anxious, or jittery, you can practice what you will say ahead of time. In a mirror, try starting the conversation and asking the question.
2. Meet in person. It might be tempting to text or message a guy to ask him, but these questions are best dealt with in person. Talking in person allows you to explore different options for your relationship. If there are any questions or concerns the guy has, you can deal with them together.
If you’re in a long distance relationship, it may not be easy to meet up in person. If you can have this conversation during a visit, you might want to wait until the end before asking, in case you receive a negative answer. If you cannot ask in person, calling him is the next best option.
3. Determine a good place for conversation. There is no one right place to have the relationship talk, but it should be a place where you can both express your feelings and discuss your future together. Consider what is right for you and the guy.
You should probably have this talk while you two are alone. You might broach the question during a walk on the beach, at the park, or in one of your homes.
If there a place that is special to both of you—such as the site of your first date or a favorite monument–, you might choose to have the talk there to make it memorable.
Make sure that the guy is not distracted. Do not ask him during a movie, while you are out with friends, or when he is working.
If you ask him while you are in the car or eating at a restaurant, he may feel trapped. Have the conversation in a place where you are both comfortable.
4. Introduce the question at the right moment. While hanging out on your planned day, you should focus on staying relaxed. Wait until a good moment to introduce the topic. Wait for a moment that feels “right” or “special.” If you are having difficulty with this, you can follow some basic guidelines.
If he compliments you, you might compliment him back, starting a conversation on what you enjoy about each other. This is a natural segue into the relationship talk.
If there a period of silence, you might bring up the issue. Say how happy you are in the moment, and see if the conversation comes up.
At the end of your date or hang out, you can say, “Hey, before you go, I wanted to talk to you about something.
5. Consider waiting for your guy to bring it up first. If getting around to calling him your “boyfriend” isn’t too high a priority, consider waiting to see if your guy mentions it first. This also helps you feel out whether your guy is comfortable with using titles or labels to define your relationship. This might be a good option if you are uncertain about your feelings or if you think that he is uncertain about the relationship.
Do not wait around forever for a guy to bring up the question. Set a date for yourself before you ask him. For example, you might give him a month before asking him yourself